Tomorrow Wendy (insignificance) wrote in growinganywayup,
Tomorrow Wendy
insignificance
growinganywayup

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Hajimimashite...

Hello... I haven't any story in particular to share, but I just joined so I figured I would give some input.

My junior year of high school is coming to a close in six days, and I'm wondering where I'll be next year. I wonder how the me now will look to my next year-self. My next year-self who will be working (sad that I'm not yet, I know). My next year-self who will be glancing timidly toward college. My next year-self who will be confused as a moth in a spider web as to where she should go.

But that's irrelevant. We're talking about the past then, aren't we, not the future? So. Childhood memories. Hm. I was reading a few posts back about being bullied in school. I was as well. Every year it seemed I had a new adversary. But I never battled. I absorbed it all into my tortured psyche, letting it grind and wedge into the cogs of my being and stop everything up. Granted, I wasn't the most beautiful thing in grade/middle school, and I did deserve a portion of the ridicule I was given, but although no one tortures me now, I still feel this imprint of past teasing and prodding. Nowadays, no one teases me, but no one cares, either. I'm just an invisible nothing. And I've repaired what little was true of the torments I was condemned for in earlier years, and I'll give that I'm a bit prettier now than I was then, but I can't help but recall those days with misty eyes...

I had such a horrible childhood, and things are improving little.
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