Patron Saint of Women With No Morals ^_^ (drusillamac) wrote in growinganywayup,
Patron Saint of Women With No Morals ^_^
drusillamac
growinganywayup

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Rambling...don't you just love it when I do this?

God I think way too much. I can trace this back to when I hit high school. Bascially (like most kids) I hate high school. It isn't so bad now but when I was in the lower end...I hated it. Everyone in my class hated me and my group of friends was very small and outside of my class.

Y'know my Standard Grade drama class was weird for this. It was like we left all the slaggings and hurtful comments outside the class. There was this one girl X and she was in my Drama and English class. I was in this big group in the Drama class and we wrote our own spoof of Ricki Lake. X was in this group as well. We got on OK - not best pals or anything but we were civil to each other.

All that changed once we walked out the Drama class and into English. English was my Purgatory class. If such a place exists that is what it will be for me. X (when she was in) used to join in with all those throwing bits of paper @ me, shouting stuff @ me and generally making my life in that class a bitch. And there was this boy called BS who I shall hate until I go to my grave. He was one of my chief tormentors if you like. It got to the point where I went to the teacher and said if you don't move me away from him you won't see me in this class again. And I would've done that if she hadn't. The abuse wasn't as bad after I got moved.

And when we bumped into him in the school office after results day Mandy coudn't seem to understand why I wouldn't even say hello to him. Say hello to someone who made me hate a subject I loved? Say hello to the person who made me go home and cry after school every day over some comment he had passed in class? Say hello to the ringleader of these people who did this to me? I did not say hello.

I suppose my own fault is in there somewhere. I had the audicity not to be "normal". I had the cheek to actually be interested in my studies. I had the gall to read books and find out information.

Then again these things above don't make you popular to the masses. A pretty face, open legs and becoming an alcoholic/drug addict is.

Ah well I didn't want to be popular. I just wanted to go to school and be left alone to get on with it. *sigh* But they didn't.

God I always think like this @ night. I'm off to go and watch Hideous Kinky or Welcome to the Doll House or Goth. Can't decide what yet.
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